I find it frustrating that people always have to know one's marital status and the reason for why one may be single. What's with people's obsession over relationships anyway? The more I hear of such questions being asked, the more I realise that people are probably subconsciously pressured into pursuing a relationship and settling down. But it's not for me and here's an article why.
Personally, I find monogamous relationships constraining and inhibiting; marriage, I think, is such a primitive and man made concept that was introduced to humanity as a means to claim ownership over one another.
"Wow, your wife is beautiful mate!"
"Yep. And she's all mine." Sounds possessive, no? Just one example of words you can expect to hear from married couples regardless of the gender. Of course, people don't need to be married to display possessive behaviour. As a man who embraces liberty and freewill, I find such behaviours and attitudes to be oppressive.
The ring upon a finger is forever (well, until a couple may divorce anyway - in western marriage that is), a reminder that one must suppress any feelings they may harbour towards anyone else. And, of course, it happens. Well it's bound to happen. I know people like to romanticise love, but what these mawkish people feel and attempt to describe is nothing more than a brain hormone called oxytocin getting released as well as a dose of serotonin. Love is literally a chemical reaction. Boring, yes? Well I suppose it is if you don't find the inner workings of our human bodies fascinating. Oxytocin gets released when one partakes in sexual intercourse, cuddles and bonds - hence why it is known as the "bonding" hormone. This chemical also has an impact on our social behaviours too by the way. If you're curious about this wondrous hormone, then Google it. My point is is that you haven't found your current "soul mate" (that conveniently lives in close proximity and frequents the same bar as you), because fate has aligned the stars and planets for you and your partner to meet, you just simply became attracted to one another and bonded as a result of chemical reactions in your brain. And no one has any control when these hormones get released. So I call bullshit when people try to convince me (more likely they're trying to convince themselves actually), that they're so in love that they don't so much as look at another man or woman.
How many times have you "fallen in love" throughout your life? How many relationships have you been in? Funny how soul mates come and go, isn't it? Kinda negates the meaning if you've implied that more than one person has been your soul mate during your life. "But Terry, I was young and naive. I didn't mean it when I said it all those years ago. But now I've settled down, I've realised that now I have found my soul mate." Wow, I guess fate was toying around with you for shits and giggles. What's happened is you've gotten older so have been pressured by society to settle down and your current partner will have to do. You have matured, realised that you want a sense of security, a home and a family. Next step, claim him/her as yours by proposing before they escape! I've seen so many people rush into such rash decisions and now they're miserable. I also know people that have been with their partner for all their life, though, and still claim to be happy. I respect their commitment, I really do.
As I said at the start, marriage and monogamy seem primitive and outdated to me due to the fact they shame one into not acting out their desires, and they suppress any feelings of intimacy and platonic bonds they may have towards another human being. Of course, this will have negative impacts and one will probably be miserable, only ever receiving their sexual gratification through fantasising and masturbating. Of course, they could "cheat" on their partners - and many do! But society will look at them with contempt. You only have to watch the undesirables that appear on shows like Jeremy Kyle to see how people point their fucking fingers, mock, laugh and talk lowly of these cheaters and sluts. Pitchforking and lambasting at its finest. And so we are instilled to live a conventional life (from an early age too. It's bizarre seeing little girls pushing around toy babies pretending to be a parent), striding to settle down with just the one person, get a nice little home and car lest you be shamed!
I think it's unnatural though; polyamorous relationships seem so much natural for us humans. Just look at other species in nature too. Before monogamy and marriage became the norm, I'd wager we got on fine with establishing many relationships, whether sexual or platonic. We are one of two species that don't just have sex to procreate, but also because we find it most pleasurable and there's no reason why we can't passionately enjoy one another without having strings attached. Of course, having polyamory relationships would mean overcoming jealousy and envy, which are mental obstacles and is probably the root reason why it wouldn't be practical for most. But for those of us that can abstain from being jealous, why should we feel ashamed to enjoy casual relationships with more than one person? One can't help how they feel after all.
So I personally don't care for marriage nor do I actively seek out a relationship because it's the be all and end all in my life. With my current lifestyle, it's not really a viable option anyway. I'll take any intimacy, bond, sex or whatever when it comes and is consensual. And I won't feel ashamed either. It's fine if you want to married and stick with one man/woman, just don't expect that's what everybody wants. Some of us just want to embrace free love, maan. Hell, I'd wager if we all just had one big fucking orgy, there'd be a lot more smiles.
Here's a song for you to enjoy: Crass - Berketex Bride
Personally, I find monogamous relationships constraining and inhibiting; marriage, I think, is such a primitive and man made concept that was introduced to humanity as a means to claim ownership over one another.
"Wow, your wife is beautiful mate!"
"Yep. And she's all mine." Sounds possessive, no? Just one example of words you can expect to hear from married couples regardless of the gender. Of course, people don't need to be married to display possessive behaviour. As a man who embraces liberty and freewill, I find such behaviours and attitudes to be oppressive.
The ring upon a finger is forever (well, until a couple may divorce anyway - in western marriage that is), a reminder that one must suppress any feelings they may harbour towards anyone else. And, of course, it happens. Well it's bound to happen. I know people like to romanticise love, but what these mawkish people feel and attempt to describe is nothing more than a brain hormone called oxytocin getting released as well as a dose of serotonin. Love is literally a chemical reaction. Boring, yes? Well I suppose it is if you don't find the inner workings of our human bodies fascinating. Oxytocin gets released when one partakes in sexual intercourse, cuddles and bonds - hence why it is known as the "bonding" hormone. This chemical also has an impact on our social behaviours too by the way. If you're curious about this wondrous hormone, then Google it. My point is is that you haven't found your current "soul mate" (that conveniently lives in close proximity and frequents the same bar as you), because fate has aligned the stars and planets for you and your partner to meet, you just simply became attracted to one another and bonded as a result of chemical reactions in your brain. And no one has any control when these hormones get released. So I call bullshit when people try to convince me (more likely they're trying to convince themselves actually), that they're so in love that they don't so much as look at another man or woman.
How many times have you "fallen in love" throughout your life? How many relationships have you been in? Funny how soul mates come and go, isn't it? Kinda negates the meaning if you've implied that more than one person has been your soul mate during your life. "But Terry, I was young and naive. I didn't mean it when I said it all those years ago. But now I've settled down, I've realised that now I have found my soul mate." Wow, I guess fate was toying around with you for shits and giggles. What's happened is you've gotten older so have been pressured by society to settle down and your current partner will have to do. You have matured, realised that you want a sense of security, a home and a family. Next step, claim him/her as yours by proposing before they escape! I've seen so many people rush into such rash decisions and now they're miserable. I also know people that have been with their partner for all their life, though, and still claim to be happy. I respect their commitment, I really do.
As I said at the start, marriage and monogamy seem primitive and outdated to me due to the fact they shame one into not acting out their desires, and they suppress any feelings of intimacy and platonic bonds they may have towards another human being. Of course, this will have negative impacts and one will probably be miserable, only ever receiving their sexual gratification through fantasising and masturbating. Of course, they could "cheat" on their partners - and many do! But society will look at them with contempt. You only have to watch the undesirables that appear on shows like Jeremy Kyle to see how people point their fucking fingers, mock, laugh and talk lowly of these cheaters and sluts. Pitchforking and lambasting at its finest. And so we are instilled to live a conventional life (from an early age too. It's bizarre seeing little girls pushing around toy babies pretending to be a parent), striding to settle down with just the one person, get a nice little home and car lest you be shamed!
I think it's unnatural though; polyamorous relationships seem so much natural for us humans. Just look at other species in nature too. Before monogamy and marriage became the norm, I'd wager we got on fine with establishing many relationships, whether sexual or platonic. We are one of two species that don't just have sex to procreate, but also because we find it most pleasurable and there's no reason why we can't passionately enjoy one another without having strings attached. Of course, having polyamory relationships would mean overcoming jealousy and envy, which are mental obstacles and is probably the root reason why it wouldn't be practical for most. But for those of us that can abstain from being jealous, why should we feel ashamed to enjoy casual relationships with more than one person? One can't help how they feel after all.
So I personally don't care for marriage nor do I actively seek out a relationship because it's the be all and end all in my life. With my current lifestyle, it's not really a viable option anyway. I'll take any intimacy, bond, sex or whatever when it comes and is consensual. And I won't feel ashamed either. It's fine if you want to married and stick with one man/woman, just don't expect that's what everybody wants. Some of us just want to embrace free love, maan. Hell, I'd wager if we all just had one big fucking orgy, there'd be a lot more smiles.
Here's a song for you to enjoy: Crass - Berketex Bride
